September 13, 2007

Doing what's best

I remember the first time I heard someone say "I could never give MY baby up for adoption!".... I felt defensive of all the women  (and men) who have struggled with this decision and I started to get really angry.  Here's how I see it:

Doing an adoption plan is the most unselfish, loving choice a person can make for their child.  When you chose an adoption plan, you knowingly put your emotional, spiritual, and physical self through an almost unbearable ordeal. It is a loss you will feel for the rest of your life, you can heal, but it will always be with you.  You do this because it is your belief that your child will benefit from this decision.  It is bitter-sweet when you get pictures from the adoptive family, your child looks happy, but it hurts that you aren't part of her daily life. You may always feel you made the right decision, but it's a very hard process.  Our responsibility as a parent is to do the best we can to make sure our children are safe, happy and have everything they need.  This is why making an adoption plan can sometimes be the best choice for a family.  When there are insurmountable obstacles preventing you from raising your child, the best parenting decision can be to carefully plan for another family to do so. 

So when someone says,  "I could never give MY baby up for adoption!" I am embarrassed for them.  They just admitted that they would not put their child's needs above their own.  It's frustrating that birth parents feel judged when it's those who stand in judgment that should be taking a long, hard look at themselves.

August 31, 2007

A long time coming...

About a year ago the domestic adoption team at Adoptions Together started talking about creating a blog for several different reasons.  This discussion was ongoing - and after some planning, and lots of adoption plans, we finally found some time to make the site a reality.  We hope this blog will:

  • Provide a safe place for birth parents to talk honestly about the ins and outs of making an adoption plan.
  • Provide information and support for women and men who are thinking about adoption as an option for their family.
  • Give adoptive families some insight into how birth parents feel about adoption in general and help them understand the positive aspects of open adoption.
  • Provide support for birth parents from Adoptions Together who can not meet in supportive groups due to financial, transportation or other challenges.
  • Provide links to resources that may be helpful to all members of the adoption experience.
  • To challenge stereotypes about adoption created by television and movies.

We will use several authors, mainly adoption counselors at Adoptions Together, to create posts that generate discussions.  Hopefully we will also have posts by adoptive families and birth parents who want to share their experiences.  We welcome and encourage comments on all posts, but reserve the rights to take down any comments that are disrespectful. 

July 27, 2007

Coming Soon...

Stay tuned for posts, information, and links exploring the unique experience of being a birth parent.